How to Create Connection and Joy While Alone for the Holidays

As we know, the holiday season is often portrayed as a time overflowing with traditions, generosity, and togetherness. Families gather, parties fill the calendar, and both good and bad memories are created. 

For many, this season feels busy, communal, and fulfilling. Yet the reality is that a significant number of people don’t experience the holidays in this traditional way.

A survey in 2023 estimated that roughly 19 million Americans would be spending Christmas time alone. Whether due to geography, life transitions, loss, personal choice, or simply the natural ebb and flow of relationships, being alone during the holidays is far more common than most of us realize. 

In our previous article we discussed redefining what loneliness is while challenging the idea that alone automatically means disconnected. But beyond reframing loneliness, we still have an important question to answer: How can being alone be transformed into something meaningful, joyful, or even restorative?

So let’s look at practical ways you can create meaning, rituals, and emotional connection during this season. 

Creating Solo Traditions

When you’re alone for the holidays, it can be easy to slip into a “why bother?” mindset. Without having other people around to hype up the season, you might feel like it isn’t worth the effort.

But the truth is, you deserve to show up for yourself. 

Create a holiday playlist, grab a $30 ugly Christmas tree off Facebook Marketplace, have a movie marathon, cook a delicious meal, do a holiday puzzle, go on seasonal walks to notice the changes around you. 

You can even plan a small “event” for Christmas Day, like an indulgent breakfast, a holiday craft, or a special morning coffee curled up with a cozy blanket and a Christmas book. 

These simple practices can help you tap into the joy of the season while building your own sense of tradition, emotional grounding, and stability.

Volunteering and Community Service

I’m sure you knew this one would make the list. And look, I promise I get it. Volunteering sounds great in theory, but the follow-through can feel like a lot. You have to find a place, sign up, talk to new people, and then… actually do it??

Still, I challenge you to give it a shot, even if you’re not alone for the holidays. 

There have been plenty of studies on the psychological benefits of volunteering. One study found a strong correlation between volunteering and increased self-esteem, self-efficacy, as well as a sense of pride and empowerment. 

Not only is it good for your mental health, but volunteering also helps open doors to nurture new relationships, keeps you active, and increases overall life satisfaction. 

A few ideas include spending time in senior living homes, fostering pets, donating items, participating in Samaritan’s Purse, or helping at food banks or holiday drives. If you’re not able to leave home, you can still contribute by writing letters to seniors, volunteering online, or sending encouraging messages to others virtually.

Connecting Through Online Communities

Online friendships may not be able to replace in-person connections fully, however, they can be a great way to foster social connections when meeting people is challenging. 

Now I’m not telling you to hop online and doom scroll your days away, but there are groups that you can be a part of that will help challenge you. 

Think hobby groups, where you can post your golf scores or your newest crocheting creation. Think of spiritual groups when you can post your favorite verse of the day or your newly discovered YouTube meditation channel. 

Belonging to something greater than yourself can help you feel support. You may even find online communities in your area to create local meet ups. Even the app Meet-Up can help you discover other like minded individuals. 

Personal Connection Rituals

Another way to create connection while alone for the holidays is through personal connection rituals. These don’t have to be anything elaborate, just small, meaningful practices that help you feel grounded and emotionally connected. 

Maybe that looks like doing a quick mindfulness exercise, journaling your thoughts at a coffee shop, or stretching to release some tension. You could light a candle for someone you’re missing, send a voice memo to a friend, or set an intention for the season. 

Even memory-based rituals like listening to nostalgic music, pulling out old photos, or cooking a recipe from childhood can create a sense of warmth and continuity. 

These little moments add up, giving your brain a sense of stability and helping you process whatever emotions come with the holidays.

Mindset Shift 

As mentioned before, slipping into the “why bother” mindset is incredibly easy to do. But it’s something we have to actively fight against. 

The brain has two sides, the left handles positive emotions and analytical thoughts while the right handles negative emotions and creative thinking. 

So let’s imagine for a moment that we have two teams in our mind. Picture little people working on each side for the negative and positive emotion “teams.” If you tell yourself, “Man, the holidays suck,” the crew on the negative side salutes and says, “Alright everyone, you heard the boss! This season is awful, let’s get to work and prove them right.”

But if you intentionally shift your self-talk to something like, “I may feel lonely today, but good things are still going to happen,” the team on the positive side kicks into gear and helps you notice what’s going well.

Now, I’m not telling you to avoid or ignore your feelings, but what I am saying is that we have control over our mindset and we can steer ourselves away from the doom spiral by choosing thoughts that support us.

So this season, choose an attitude of gratitude. Every day, even if we’re alone, is a gift.